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» NEW FORUM IS READY
by Admin Fri May 08, 2009 6:32 am

» Baby Walker
by Emma Thu May 07, 2009 11:14 am

» Dummies anyone?
by Emma Thu May 07, 2009 11:09 am

» Cost of a baby by 1 year.
by Emma Thu May 07, 2009 11:05 am

» Wind solutions
by Cuckoo Thu May 07, 2009 5:21 am


Dummies anyone?

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Post  rockycat Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:21 pm

Just wondered how many of you are using dummies? My DS had one after a few months, and I gave DD one yesterday for the first time because she had just been sucking for comfort all weekend and I couldn't get anything done. It really seems to have helped, as now she genuinely feeds every time she's at the breast, and doesn't use me as a dummy.

I know there are lots of opposing views about dummies, but I'm just so grateful for them! We were fortunate in weaning DS off them really easily when he turned 2, so I'm hoping it will be as easy with DD.
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Post  Emma Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:13 pm

Yes, Lucinda has a dummy and it's been a godsend! She's not totally dependent on it. Rarely has it at night but it's very useful for getting her to nap during the day. Also useful for when we're out - kept her quiet during a long meeting with the bank manager for instance! If she's hungry she refuses the dummy completely so it's not used for a feeding substitute, purely for comfort. And now that she's found her fingers she doesn't even use the dummy as much as she used to.
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Post  Admin Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:09 am

I'm having a dillema with this at the moment. I've got nothing against dummies and I'm all for them if it works for you and baby, but I have always told myself I'd never use them as I'm personally not keen on them, but I know Carla would love one and it would make my life a hell of a lot easier, I'm just so tired from her constant need for attention during the day, but I can't bring myself to buy one cos then there's no going back once I have if she likes it. I'm just kind of hoping that I can manage through without one, and then come to a time when I don't need it. I'm just in that mindset of not wanting one, and I know I should just go and get one, but I just can't. I really need a kick up the bum. Laughing
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Post  fleurthefrenchgirl Fri May 01, 2009 3:35 am

Me too I was against dummies but I've learnt since Reuben came along that it's not really for us to choose. He was using me for comfort and after having bleeding and cracked nipple I could not cope with it. I was also worried because of all the midwives telling us not to use dummies before 6-8 weeks but I did use one and it worked really well. My breast healed, Reuben had no problems making the difference between my breasts and the dummy. When he is hungry he spits out the dummy and cries so it is not a substitute. To be honest I think babies are cleverer than people think, we should give them more credit. Reuben is 12 weeks now and is not far from doubling his birth weight.
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Post  jillsherb Fri May 01, 2009 11:07 am

I all ways said NO dummies my baby not having one and he used me like comfort he was on me all the time gave him when he was about six week and never looked back he six month and one week on Sun and uses it mainly when tired and your right about midwives and health visitor don't give them to the babies.But they need some comfort. Very Happy

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Post  Claire Fri May 01, 2009 2:58 pm

I gave Lily one at about 3 months old. I had said no initially and was adamant she wouldn't have one at all. She was comfort suckling on me and I was fine with that, I thought well that's what I'm here for, I'm her mother and nature didn't intend for babies to suckle on dummies, it intended them to suckle on their mothers. But the problem with suckling on me was that she got milk from me, whether she was hungry or not and whether she wanted it or not, and she ended up getting overfull and having tummy ache every time she wanted to suckle. So I couldn't let her suckle on me anymore, she couldn't find her thumbs (her hands were still in fists at that stage) and I didn't have the heart to stop her suckling altogether, I think babies need to suckle, so I got her a dummy.

But now I wish I hadn't. I'm not sure what else I could have done, but I wish I had found something. She is completely reliant on it now to get to sleep, she wakes up crying for it during the night and when we're trying to get her down to sleep we spend at least half an hour putting it back in her mouth after she's spat it out or pulled it out then cries for it back.

I'm thinking of making her quit cold turkey and just hope she finds her thumbs now she's a bit older, but I'm not sure I can be that cruel!

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Post  fleurthefrenchgirl Sat May 02, 2009 4:14 am

Hi Claire,

The problem with thumbs is that you cannot take them away when the babies are older. I sucked my thumb until I was ten and had braces and regular painful visits to the dentist to have them adjusted during 4 years. My teeth aren't great still today, I think the job was poorly done and my teeth are actually backwards now. I want my child not to suffer the way I did. You seem to want it all the natural way and I admire you for that but sometimes you have to let the baby decide I guess.
My fiance's niece had dummies and when she turned 3 her parents took them away and she never asked for them again. The thumb being attached to my hand I never had the chance to stop so easily.
The other good new is that using a dummy to fall asleep reduces the risk of cot death as it helps baby breath through her nose.
Let your baby confort herself with the dummy it also helps her go over separation anxiety. She will grow out of spitting it out you'l see.
Hope that helps.
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Post  Claire Sat May 02, 2009 2:01 pm

Thanks for that Fleur. So you think she'll grow out of spitting it out then? I really hope so! You're right, I would prefer to do things the natural way, but as you say, sometimes it's not what the baby wants.

And you're definitely right about not being able to take thumbs away. My son Max had a dummy when he was very young but as soon as he found his thumbs he gave up his dummy. Thumbs then progressed into fingers and at 7 years old he still sucks his fingers and we've tried everything to get him to stop, especially important now he has some adult teeth through at the front. He's getting better and now only puts his fingers in when he's going to sleep at night, and then maybe a couple of times during the day. I do worry about him needing braces though, as I don't want him to have to go through that pain.

Actually, the problems we're having with Max now is what's stopped me from taking Lily's dummy away so far. In years to come if she ends up with a brace because she's sucked her thumbs or fingers, I'd hate to think that was my fault for taking her dummy away.

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Post  fleurthefrenchgirl Sat May 02, 2009 2:13 pm

Don't beat yourself up, as I say in the end it's not really our decision as I am sure if a baby finds her fingers and prefers them to dummies then there is not much you can do and maybe it woud have been like that with Max even if you left him his dummy.
Reuben use to spit his dummy out all the time too at the beginning, remember it's something new and your baby needs to learn how it works. Now if he spits it up repeatedly it's for 2 reasons, to get attention or because he wants fed. He knows how to keep it in his mouth well now he even sleeps sometimes for 15 mins before it falls out of his mouth, I am telling you it's a skill. Britain's got talent here we come!
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Post  Cuckoo Sat May 02, 2009 2:54 pm

I only gave Eliza a dummy last week when she got to 5 weeks old. She is very lively baby but always whinging about something. I know that it is not a substitute for a feed because she can tell the difference lol and it does seem to do the trick but I only give it to her when nothing else works. I take it out of her mouth while she's asleep and tell the kids not to give it to her out of habit. My eldest and my third child never had it at all but it took a lot of time to wean my second daughter off it so I am hoping that I don't have this problem again. Also I have read that dummies are more likely yo give babies more wind/colic.
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Post  jillsherb Sun May 03, 2009 12:15 am

Jake now six month and spend's all the time throwing his dummy anywhere but in his mouth so the clingy ness of having them does pass as the learn new things so the only time he really has it his when he going to sleep but he can put his hands in his mouth sometimes looks like he eating his fist so i prefer the dummy and certainly didn't want one so i wouldn't give up on it too easy and now he found his voice he is talk talk squark so he changes his demands are so different and now he eating he interresed in that so think at some point santa will collect the dummy. Very Happy

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Post  rockycat Mon May 04, 2009 2:06 pm

When I wanted DS to stop using them my American friend advised me to snip the end off them, but obviously ensuring that they are safe and will not fall apart. I snipped the very tips off the end, and DS decided he didn't like them anymore. He went to sleep that night without one, and we never looked back. However, I guess if it doesn't work immediately then you have problems as it's difficult to keep a dummy clean if it has a snipped end! Bit of a controversial method, but it worked perfectly for us.
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Post  Mummy_05 Mon May 04, 2009 11:50 pm

All of my kids have had a dummy but they've been good with giving it up to, once they start teething they usually give it away thank goodness
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Post  Admin Tue May 05, 2009 2:29 am

I do like the idea about cutting the end off.
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Post  fleurthefrenchgirl Tue May 05, 2009 2:39 am

For my niece they told her the dummy fairy would come and collect them and leave a present in return and it worked she put them all in a box and had puppets in return and she never looked back.
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Post  jillsherb Tue May 05, 2009 10:43 am

Think i like the idea of the dummy fairy now jake six month he chews everything with the teething so the interest in the dummy is less so don't think there any reason to take a dummy off them too soon but i wouldn't want him having it till he gets too old whats the right age to take it off them. Very Happy

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Post  Emma Tue May 05, 2009 12:00 pm

Most people I know have had the dummy fairy come for their 2nd birthday or Christmas nearest to 2nd birthday. Don't think I'd want Lucinda to have it longer than 2 years either.
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Post  rockycat Tue May 05, 2009 1:27 pm

I think Sam was just over the age of 2. He usually only had it for sleeping, but one weekend I remember he kept wanting it in the day, and that's whn I decided it was time to get him off them.
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Post  queen caggy Wed May 06, 2009 5:47 am

dummies yuk i hate them but i do use one for this baby.

I had to cos of his tongue tie he got terrible colic and used me for comfort all the time (sucking helps ease the pain) and even tho his tie was snipped he was still in pain so i reluctantly got one for him.

My other 2 are thumb suckers and its so much nicer, i wish bubs would do the same but i cant ditch the dummy yet. Im hoping for half term week when DH is off with us so ive got some back up.

i find the sterilising a pain too and taking a spare one with me and he always drops the blinking thing!
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Post  Emma Wed May 06, 2009 6:29 am

I use those dummy clip things that fasten onto their clothes and always keep a pack of Milton wipes with me for sterilising. Lucinda's sucking her thumb (and thumb and forefinger at same time!) more now so dummy is getting used less. But it's still incredibly useful for daytime naps. Infact I need her to wake up now to go to Rhythm Time but she's sound asleep. Poor little thing! Right, I'm going to gently rouse her...
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Post  jillsherb Thu May 07, 2009 12:35 am

queen caggy wrote:dummies yuk i hate them but i do use one for this baby.

I had to cos of his tongue tie he got terrible colic and used me for comfort all the time (sucking helps ease the pain) and even tho his tie was snipped he was still in pain so i reluctantly got one for him.

My other 2 are thumb suckers and its so much nicer, i wish bubs would do the same but i cant ditch the dummy yet. Im hoping for half term week when DH is off with us so ive got some back up.

i find the sterilising a pain too and taking a spare one with me and he always drops the blinking thing!
How come they snipped the tounge tie as my little boy still hasn't had his done and they say as long as they can eat it doesn't matter were you told different? Very Happy

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Post  Emma Thu May 07, 2009 11:09 am

You really ought to push for his tongue tie snipping because it can cause speech impediments if it's left. They might try and fob you off but it's worth pursuing IMO.
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